Hop Against Homophobia, Bi- and Transphobia! #HAHABT

 Welcome to this year’s Hop, and Happy Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, and Transphobia!

The first year I participated in this hop it was the Hop Against Homophobia, last year saw the addition of Transphobia, and this year we’re also working to combat Biphobia. The last two are things I encounter on a daily basis, so in my humble opinion this hop gets better every year. 🙂

In my post, I’m going to talk a little about biphobia and give away winner’s choice of one of my backlist books. All you have to do to enter is answer the question by commenting on this post, anytime between now and May 24th at midnight Pacific time.

I hope you all have a lot of fun on the hop, and get some good conversations going!

First, there seems to be a bit of confusion about what bisexuality actually is. And since understanding is an important step toward acceptance, here it is in a nutshell. Bisexuals are not reinforcing society’s artificially-imposed gender binary solely by existing, we don’t dislike or exclude the trans community (many trans individuals are also bisexual) and we’re not, as a whole, indecisive or greedy.

So what does it mean to be bisexual?

It means being attracted to people of the same gender, or a different gender. That last bit is important. “A different gender” doesn’t mean a specific gender, it means “a gender by which the bisexual in question does not identify.”

It’s that simple and that complex.

I understand it can be difficult for monosexuals to wrap their heads around—just like I can’t fully understand what it’s like to only be attracted to one gender. In the spirit of the Hop Against Homophobia, Bi- and Transphobia, I’ll try to explain my own experience.

What it starts and ends with is the individual, their personality, shared experience and interests, and whether or not we click.

In my five decades on this planet, i’ve had… a couple of relationships. When I was with a man, I was still bisexual. When I was with a woman, yep, you guessed it—still bisexual. Some people out there might be nodding and thinking I’m promiscuous, but they would be wrong. (Probably… depending on their personal definition of promiscuous. ;))

All things being equal (although we know they never are, please come along with me for the ride :)) I am just as likely to be romantically and/or sexually attracted to someone who identifies as female as to someone who identifies as male or genderqueer/fluid or agender, or any of the other variants that exist. It depends on the individual. This makes it almost impossible for me to use online dating services, by the way. If I say I’m looking for a woman and identify as bi nobody responds; if looking for a man and say I’m bi, I get couples looking for a threesome or a unicorn.

Biphobia makes a lot of bisexuals feel as though we have to hide our true identity or be rejected. Some choose to identify as queer to get around that, some don’t; some folks who identify as queer are not bisexual. This is why it’s important to push back against biphobia, so we can identify as we wish, without fear. I’ve come out of and been pushed back into a lot of closets since the ‘70s—by members of the mainstream heterosexual community and by the LGBTQ+ community. Neither is any fun, but it’s far more difficult to be given the stink-eye by someone (or a whole lot of someones all at once) who also identify somewhere along the queer spectrum.

 

Well, I think that’s enough for one post. Now I’m going to ask you a question, and if you answer in the comments you’re in the running to choose a book from my backlist.

By the way, the choice also includes the Harmony Ink Press anthology First Time for Everything—US residents can get a paperback copy if they’d like to pass it on to a teen or a library after reading it. Click here for a list of my adult backlist titles.

Okay, it’s not really a question, more like a task: name a book with either a bisexual or transgender main character. Name one that has never appeared on any bestseller list, and that’ll get you two entries.

Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to visit the rest of the blogs on the #HAHABT, participate in the dialogue and maybe end up with a prize. 🙂

Click here to go to the #HAHABT blog and find the list!

rainbow rose

 

 

 

 

 

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19 thoughts on “Hop Against Homophobia, Bi- and Transphobia! #HAHABT

  1. Lovely post and so very true,
    I just read a bisexual book called Pyke’s Peak by Chris Owen, both men were bi, not sure if it hit the charts but it was a really good read

  2. Pingback: Hop Against Homophobia, Bi-and Transphobia, May 17 – 24 | Anna Butler

  3. Pingback: It’s Not Work if You Love What You Do | Kimber Vale

  4. Thanks for this post, and the giveaway 🙂
    As for your question in Wild and Precious by CJane Elliott you have Cody Bellstrom, a bisexual musician. And in the Brandt and Donnelly Caper serie by Xavier Mayne the main character Ethan Brandt is bisexual.

  5. Thanks for your interesting thoughts Charley
    I like Just as you Are by Sam Singer. It just gets to me how each time she meets someone new, Jesse is putting it all on the line.

    Littlesuze at hotmail.com

  6. Pingback: Love the #rainbow with the #HAHABT blog hop – enter here, stay tolerant for good! | Eva Lefoy

  7. Thank you for your post and participating in this blog hop. I have transgender characters in a number of my releases, including the Blurred Lines anthology from Storm Moon Press and the upcoming novella Coffee Date from Less Than Three Press.

    kimberlyFDR@yahoo.com

  8. I would highly recommend Blacker Than Black. I am unable to really put a finger on whether or not it fits the parameters you listed but it does have main characters who do not fit inside any labels/boxes as far as gender identities are concerned.

    sionedkla@gmail.com

  9. Pingback: HAHABT

  10. Pingback: Hop Against Homophobia, Bi- and Transphobia 2015 - Jolynn Raymond's Dark Obsessions

  11. Tara Lain’s Genetic Attraction series has really lovable and interesting bi characters in each installment (I especially love GENETIC CELEBRITY’s Tommy, and the whole exploration of gender fluidity in DECEPTIVE ATTRACTION). C Kennedy’s OMORPHI features Christy, a trans character, as one of the leads. (I also thought that Meagan Brothers’ DEBBIE HARRY SINGS IN FRENCH was awesome, though I’m not sure it counts…the male teen hero is attracted to a girl, but he definitely discovers and embraces his genderqueer identity as the story goes on.)

    vitajex(at)aol(dot)com

  12. Pingback: Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia 2015 | DS Kenn

  13. I’ve read a few books in the several years that I’ve been reading m/m fiction and can’t really recall all the books I’ve read that had either. Umm…for trans: Lessons on Destroying the World by Gene Gant, What The Lady Wants by D.C. Juris and A Matter of Disagreement by E.E. Ottoman, Girl for Me by Failte, Offside Chance by Mercy Celeste (I think William was straight…might be remember this wrong, lol), Corruption by Jack Greene and Cop Out by KC Burns and His Fair Lady by Kimberly Gardner.

    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

    • Sorry for the mistakes. Some of the books I listed don’t have transgender character but does have bi characters in it. I meant to separate the two list.

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