I’ve been meaning to sign up with the Weekend Writing Warriors because they have a linky list—because, let’s face it, peer pressure works—but keep forgetting until I see everyone’s posts. This week I’ve planned ahead! (Okay, I wanted to ditch my Rules of Evidence assignment twenty minutes ago. That counts!)
The Weekend Writing Warriors are a lively group, posting 8 sentence excerpts and then running around and reading and generally having a blast with all the fiction. So, here’s my contribution.
My excerpt is from A Sunday Kind of Love, my upcoming release from Amber Quill Press. This is Jake’s story (his POV) and he’s just left the spa with his (grown) son, who he’s hardly seen in the preceding fifteen years.
He pretended not to see Antonio’s look that said it’d been a long time since he’d indulged in a lot of things the salon had to offer.
After a fun couple of hours Jake and Jacob headed for the car. Jacob stopped just outside the door to admire himself in the window’s mirror-like surface.
“You should go on back and talk to that guy whose chair you were in. He was checking you out, Dad.”
Jake watched as the boy turned his head to see his new look from every possible angle.
“Looks good.” Jake resisted the urge to run his palm over the boy’s head, like he had when DJ was two they’d had to give him a buzz cut after he’d gotten into some paint.
Thanks for reading!
Don’t forget to check out more excerpts by visiting the WeWriWa linky list, and then you can hop over to see what the Snippet Sunday and Saturday Seductive Studs folks are up to this week!
Charley Descoteaux 
ooh! Counting the days Charley xx
You packed a lot into those eight sentences!
You did pack a lot of information into this snippet, and the words flow smoothly–in spite of it. 🙂 I like the relationship father and son have. And the reference to running his hand over his son’s hair and the memory of the boy getting into paint was wonderful! Good post. 🙂
I liked the imagery at the end of the father wanting to run his hand over the son’s hair. Cute. Great 8 and congrats on your upcoming release, Charley! 🙂
i like the father-son relationship, and the potential one, too!
Father/son relationships sure can be complicated. I like the emotion in this scene. Looking forward to more.
I kinda had to read this one a few times to determine who was whom. Jake vs. Antonio vs. the son. I’m so sorry. It could be that I just don’t know the story quite well enough yet. I liked the imagery of using the window as a mirror, though.
Excellent 8. I got a real sense of loneliness about the characters. Good luck with your upcoming release!
Interesting relationship between father and son. Love the running his hand over the hair bit.
Nice way to show the bond between the father and son! Excellent excerpt!
I loved that you used the window as a mirror for the imagery. Great 8.
Thanks so much for all your comments! It’s not easy being plunked down in the middle of a story, but you guys are troopers. 🙂
Over the next six weeks I’ll be sharing more of Chapter 1, I hope you’ll come back and let me know what you think.
~Charley
I might suggest changing one of the character names. Jake and Jacob are very similar names and might confuse readers.
Ooh…indulge,, indulge!!
Congrats on the upcoming release Charley and happy to see you here at WeWriWa. This is a great group. Great excerpt. I loving the emotion at the end.
Ooh, I love this, how he and his son are reconnecting.
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